I wanted to let the world know that no one had a perfect life, that even the people who seemed to have it all had their secrets.
-Jeannette Walls
It happened again. A dear friend was watching the Glass Castle and asked if I had seen it. Of course, I’ve seen it and read the book. Jeanette Walls is one of my sheroes.
When my parents wrote a letter to a judge declaring me mentally ill, a religious fanatic, and saying that I make up stories about my childhood, I was beyond devastated. I went to church that week and had my first panic attack. Somehow being in a church brought back difficult church memories from my childhood and that mixed with their lies and false accusations made it very hard for me to attend any church for the next ten years.
Fortunately my doctor was at church and realized I was having a panic attack. She leaned over to my face to guided me in using my senses to come back to reality. She helped me realize that my senses could confirm that I was not anywhere near my abuser. That I was safe.
Then as I regained my ability to breathe normal again, she leaned closer and whispered, “We pass through our parents, but we are not our parents and we are not who they say we are.”
Another friend in that class introduced me to “The Glass Castle.” She said, Jeannette’s story has some things in common with yours.”
I read the book straight through in two days. Jeannette Walls, by sharing her shame and poverty, revealed that our identity goes beyond the temporary situations of our childhood. For the first time in my life, all the shame from growing up poor and constantly moving fell away. I knew I was going to be okay, because Jeannette Walls was okay.
I followed her on Facebook and when she held a FB live where we could ask questions, I asked her for advice on writing my own memoir.
She gave me her mother’s advice to tell the truth. It was the opposite of my mother’s advice which was to hide the truth. I decided to take the advice of Rosemary Walls and it set me free.
If God put the rainbows right in the clouds themselves, each one of us in the direst and dullest and most dreaded and dreary moments can see a possibility of hope. Each one of us has the chance to be a rainbow in somebody’s cloud.
-Maya Angelou
If you’ve been thinking about writing a memoir, take heart. It doesn’t happen over night. These things take time. But rest assured no matter how much your memoir has in common with other people’s stories, your story is unique. Just take baby steps until you can find the right path for you.
And all I actually have to offer as a writer, is my version of life. Every single thing that has happened to me is mine. As I've said a hundred times, if people wanted me to write more warmly about them, they should have behaved better.
-Anne Lamott
I had always wanted to write a memoir since I was nine years old and read The Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, but I wasn’t sure where to start or if my story was even good enough to tell. Jeannette Walls, by writing down her memories, set me free to write mine because I no longer felt alone.
You may never know how much your story, told with honestly and passion, might be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. We write memoir to give hope and to encourage others.
Believe in yourself and tell your stories,
Cherilyn
Little Red Survivor Tips is always free. It’s just my thoughts about surviving at the intersection of family, narcissistic and religious abuse, and current events.
I also wrote a book Chasing Eden, about my strange childhood.
If you’d like to discuss writing memoirs, reading them, or would like a sneak peek at my next book, To Uneat an Elephant, you can subscribe above.
You are a rainbow 🌈
Such a lovely, moving article! And I’m a huge fan of memoirs! You are such a beautiful rainbow in so many people’s lives, Cheri, we love you so much!