Life comes with many challenges. It’s been a rough year for most of us. When my husband decided to leave me, I wasn’t sure what to do. I’ve spent about six months just lollygagging around, trying to reorganize my life. Then of course the pandemic didn’t help.
The question at every intersection of my life has been will I make my life bigger or smaller? Will I see the glass half empty or half full? Will I narrow down the possibilities because I’ve been hurt or will I open wider and enlarge my circle of love and understanding?
Opening wider has its risks. No one wants to hang their feelings out on the clothesline for the neighbors to observe or for the weather to cause further damage. At the same time, an empty vessel can’t receive the blessings falling from the sky. The sun and the rain both help our gardens to grow and our souls to flourish.
Happy Birthday to Chasing Eden
This month I will celebrate the first anniversary of my memoir Chasing Eden. When I chose to hit publish, I realized some family members would be incapable of empathizing and supporting me. At that moment I had to decide if I was going to make my life and art smaller to meet their needs or tell my story. I chose to enlarge my life rather than narrow it down to other people’s expectations because I realized that even the telling was a part of my journey.
I am currently recording Chasing Eden for the audiobook, then sending it to a sound engineer and hopefully we will get it on Audible by the end of the year.
Life is Never Static
When the man I was married to chose to move on, I had to decide if I’d allow myself to live in fear and suspicion, or accept his truth and celebrate the shelter we’ve given to each other for over 30 years.
When this reorganization of our relationship occurred, I was starting to finish my second memoir, but I had to stop, step back to get some clarity. I obviously didn’t see this coming and because of that, I felt a need to pause my public writing and become more self-aware. I also wanted to make sure I wrote with raw honesty and lovingly told his story along with my own. I think you will enjoy the finished work. It’s not on schedule as I planned, but then real life is never set in stone and part of surviving is bending with the wind.
This brings me to a new chapter of my life as a single woman. And I am finding new dreams. For years I’ve planned on writing several historical novels. listening to books on Audible has allowed me to explore new possibilities in my own writing while sewing or doing household chores. These novels will naturally include heroines who deal with narcissistic characters. I’m looking forward to sharing more about them with my subscribers. I’m grateful to those of you who gave me grace and stuck with me through my relationship crisis this year. You will always have a part of my heart for your support and loyalty. I’m planning to make the second half of the year better than the first.
America seems to be going to Hades in a Hot Air Balloon, But I’m optimistic enough to believe that the majority of Americans are good. That diversity and immigrants are what have made this country a beacon for many. That every person should have equality and be allowed to live life as their authentic selves—I believe this so much that I hold no ill will toward my former husband who is gay and deserves to live life on his terms. I hope we as a country can pull out of this messy revolution with a better future—one where all people are considered and treated with equality.
Each of us has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented. So, to be bodacious enough to invent ourselves is wise. -Maya Angelou
Perhaps countries, like people, can reinvent themselves. We can work and pray for this.
What Are We Planting?
I get to decide if I’ll look at my life—my home, yard, and relationships as half empty—or if I will celebrate what I can fill it with.
At each point in life, we each get to decide if we’ll allow circumstances to make our lives smaller—or if we’ll open wider like a flower and seek the sun and rain with gratitude.
How is your life opening up like a flower?
Can you see it blooming in this season?
Or is it dormant waiting for the next season?
Can it be both for different parts of our lives?
Please share your answer to one of these questions in the comments. I’ll choose a winner to get a free copy of my memoir, Chasing Eden.
Last week’s winner is E. Ken. Thank you!
Stay safe friends,
Peace and freedom to you!
PS I’ve been working on my book, but a story came up from the past and I had to write this article on stalking. Here’s the friend’s link on Medium—
Why the Narcissist Keeps Stalking You—Even After You’ve Gone No Contact