Is Prince Harry's Book a Legit Memoir
Despite being written by a ghost writer?
There are two kinds of people talking about Prince Harry’s book “Spare.” The first is saying, “Good for him!” While the others are saying, “How dare he?”
The latter group won’t be named here because, in the immortal words of Theodore Roosevelt, “The critics don’t count.” However, I will address some of their concerns because those criticisms are often said of anyone who writes a memoir, and we memoir writers, whether famous or not, deserve to have the record set straight.
The prelude describes Harry talking with his father and brother after his grandfather’s funeral. They couldn’t understand why he moved his family across the pond. He says there was no time to explain it to them, and at the time, they didn’t seem willing to listen. Harry says he wrote this book hoping they might someday understand.
Of course, my advice to Harry, or anyone writing a memoir, is don’t write for your family. They may never understand. Write for yourself, write for the art of writing a good story, write for the joy of looking back on your life, write to bless your younger self, write for posterity, and write to connect with kindred spirits.
Why hang out the dirty laundry?
The British tabloids have been making millions from taking pictures of Harry from the day he was born. This memoir is his way of setting the record straight about all the lies told about him. No, he was never a skinhead. No, he wasn’t a drug addict, and no, he never went to rehab.
Some of the worst stories were made up by a hired public relations man that Charles (and Camilla de vil) hired. In other words, the future King of England wanted to fix his reputation after Princess Diana’s death so he could marry Camilla. The PR doctor decided it would be best if Charles looked like a pathetic single parent so he could regain his standing with the public. They didn’t want to make William look bad because he too, was a future king, so they used the spare. Considering how young Harry was when his mum died, it seems cruel that his own father threw 13-year-old Harry under the bus to save himself. If you can’t see how inappropriate and narcissistic this was, I can’t help you.
If the author wants peace, why not just disappear?
I watched an American morning show where the anchors were discussing this. They seem naive to the hazards of being royal. Harry can’t just disappear because he’s a member of the most famous family in the world. His face is recognized everywhere he goes—despite the fact that he never signed up to be a celebrity. The only place young Harry found any peace from the paparazzi was in the African bush.
There are many reasons for authors to tell their stories. We gain personal understanding as we document the events of our lives, but we also help others by telling our stories. Sometimes the memoir is for entertainment value, and that alone is a great reason to write a book. But many times, our stories help readers face their own issues by reminding them they are not alone.
Harry’s memoir does all of the above. He’s seemed to gain healing from sharing his truth. He’s using his voice to highlight the need for better mental health. People find the royal family a curiosity, but some might wonder what they have in common with a prince. A lot of things, actually. This prince has immediate common ground with everyone who’s lost a parent at an early age, but he also shares childhood memories and challenges that many of us have experienced. Harry can relate to being bullied and struggling with depression. And for those of us who understand what it’s like to grow up with a parent putting their needs first, Harry speaks to right our souls.
What about other people’s points of view?
What if the two future kings did not get proper representation? Then they should have thought about that before they threw the spare under the bus. This sort of remark will be said no matter who writes a memoir. The bottom line is that memoir is always told from the author’s point of view. We don’t have the right to describe our siblings’ or parents’ feelings. Each person has the right to their opinions. If others disagree with a memoir, they can write their own.
Won’t this destroy the family?
While we were growing up, many of us were told to be quiet about things that happened to us, but shining a light on abusive behavior won't destroy a family. The problem isn’t truth-telling but the abuse. Such abuse occurs, and the pain from it exists whether the rest of the world knows about it or not. Like the Alcoholics Anonymous saying goes, “We are only as sick as our secrets.”
King Charles has been quoted saying that he wants his family to get along and hopes people can move on from the past. But here’s a thought that Harry and every memoir writer should take to heart—
You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better. -Anne Lamott
Once written, it can’t be undone
Your darn right it can’t be undone, and that’s a good thing! Once the abuse has been exposed, once the lies have been refuted, once you’ve published your stories, no one—not even the King of England, can take away Harry’s voice, or yours, or mine. Bask in this reality. Make it your memoir writing mantra!
Is it cringy?
Are there things that made me cringe? Yes, one thing made me cringe, but it wasn’t where Harry got frostbite on his privates. I heard Meghan McCain say that no woman would get away with that—I disagree. If a woman got frostbite on her nipples and still had to stand up at their sister’s wedding, most of us would hear about it and empathize. This story was not told in a sexual way—it was simply what Harry had to deal with at his brother’s wedding.
The one thing that made me cringe was the horrible practice of poachers in Africa cutting off a Rhino’s horn. This horrible practice takes their face off, leaving the poor creature to die without the ability to see or eat. Harry says it was traumatic for him and others who wanted to help the animals harmed. As an animal lover, it made me cry, and I still grieve whenever I think about it. This story is important despite being painful because it reminds us how cruel poaching is to the animal victims. I hope the world someday realizes that there is no excuse for poached products.
And now we come to what might be the lamest criticism of all—
Is using a ghostwriter cheating?
Among criticisms about Spare are several inaccuracies, the topics discussed, and the fact that he used a ghostwriter. If Harry had written the book himself, he might have avoided the inaccuracies, but then the book might never have been written. According to the narrative, Harry was not much of a student at Eton.
These passages reveal the trauma and confusion of a boy who lost his beloved Mummy at a young age and struggles to remember her throughout his life. When he can’t remember, he has panic attacks, depression, and anger. His story is actually very sad, and part of the reason I can read his book is that it was written in an upbeat manner.
Since Harry has explained that he’s not a scholar, organizing his life into stories was probably an arduous task. Hiring a ghostwriter doesn’t make his life experiences any less true—it just makes the story easier to read. Not everyone can afford to pay someone to organize and write out their memoir. Some of us like to do all the creative stuff by ourselves.
In this case, I think Prince Harry made the right move. These are still his stories, he just found someone to do the heavy writing so he could get the book written. I’m glad he found J.R. Moehringer, a Pulitzer prize winner for writing for the Los Angeles Times. This ghostwriter’s skill with words only enhances Harry’s stories in a good way.
Memoir ghostwriters don’t make stuff up—they just curate stories so readers can make sense of them. So yes, the prose is catchy, as one might expect from a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, but whether Prince Harry dictated the stories to his ghostie or wrote them longhand himself, the stories are his own.
Memoir is entertainment
Have you ever wished you could sit like a bee in the back window, listening in to the conversation between two future kings of England and “the spare” as they drive down the road? This is your ticket to making that fantasy come true. This book is nostalgic, sad, poignant, and hilarious. This book is fascinating entertainment, and the stories are even more sublime with Harry’s charming accent in Audible. I enjoyed it so much that I’m listening to it for a second time.
But let’s not forget the purpose of Harry’s book. He wanted to explain why he left his country and family and came to America.
I love my Mother Country, and I love my family, and I always will. I just wish, at the second-darkest moment of my life, they'd both been there for me. And I believe they'll look back one day and wish they had too.
-Prince Harry
I LOVED “Spare,” but then again, I could be biased since I wrote my own memoir.
Peace and freedom,
Cherilyn
Little Red Survivor Tips is always free. It’s just my thoughts about surviving at the intersection of family, narcissistic and religious abuse, and current events.
I also wrote a book Chasing Eden, about my strange childhood.
If you’d like to discuss writing memoirs, reading them, or would like a sneak peek at my next book, To Uneat an Elephant, you can subscribe below.
Súper great insights, Cheri!
Well said, Cherilyn! (I shudder at how some humans treat people, especially family. And the poor animals! Such innocents. Makes me cry to)